My biggest disappointments of 2004:
4 more years – UGG
I haven’t made the move to the West Coast
John’s Blog - newpaltzer.blogspot.com
Not selling my boat
Colonoscopy
Rick James, Christopher Reeves, Mr Cat
AT & T Wireless
The Best of 2004:
Bride
Thailand
Not having Cancer
Wedding
Samantha Womack The New Pornographers (music)Selling the ‘PONY
Frequent Flyer Miles
Netflix
One of the great political stories in generations is about to unfold, as Richard 'Kinky' Friedman, humorist, performer, mystery writer and Texas Monthly columnist, threatens to run for the governorship of the state of Texas in 2006. Friedman certainly would bring a whole new ballgame into Austin 's capitol building, and he would do so as an Independent candidate and political amateur.
I am in the beautiful CA. It's been Raining off and on for the last two days now and its freezing at night. This Past weekend, I went and scouted for possible homes and found a shabby little 4-3 with NO yard.
The only problem is that the asking price was $1.39 MILLION.
HOLY SHIT, Batman, I could have a three bedroom apt in Manhattan for that (or an enrire brownstone in Brooklyn).
These people are out of their minds, they don't smoke and they drive at 100 miles an hour. In the plus column they have Makers Mark in every 24 hr grocercy store, Avacado's are always in season and every other restaurant is either a burger joint, taco stand or sushi place. I have to admit, i'm a little torn.
So, I've alluded to this before on the blog and had a few conversations with various friends and relatives about the subject, but it seems as though our country, although dominated by a media that portrays a Politically Correct (albeit disproportionately white) Version of Society is "unpopular" among that of the voting more conservative public. I say this because if one were to believe "WILL & GRACE", "MURPHY BROWN", ELLAN DEGERNEROS", "OPRAH", or "FRIENDS" one would believe that our country is ok with single mothers, promiscuous straight sex, gays, unwed family units and various non-dominant religious groups (jew/muslims).
I don't think this is the case. I think that only Hollywood and NYC are ok with it. I think South Beach, Austin, Seattle are ok with the "Live and Let Live" motif but it would seem to me that the majority of the country is not too keen on the Hester's of the world walking amongst us guilt free.
We were talking about this last night and the one thing (that I recall) that we decided is that it was fear and ignorance that promoted this discord. That is to mean, fear of the unknown and unfamiliar that draw people to conservatism. And the ignorance we decided was of the impact of the issues relative to the outcomes of most decisions. For instance, my friend Chris was certain that his father had no idea that his vote for Bush was in direct opposition to his own daughter. His Daughter who has been in a monogamous relationship with a woman for the past 9 years with woman, a woman whom she wants to marry but can't.
I don't know of a "LIBERAL" who wants to stop the Ten Commandments, heterosexual monogamy, prayer, bible school or Sunday services, but I do know "CONSERVATIVES" who want to enforce the tenants of their religion, impose them on others, kill GLTG persons and require, hindu's - budhists - muslims and Jews to put their head down while the "normal" kids pray.
Bottom line, your kid wants to prey, bow or otherwise salute anything or anyone, she better be prepared to do it as a personal expression at home. She wants to wear a helmet, hat, robe or cross – power to you but we are at school now, much like going to work (lest we forget what school is supposed to educate us for) and we require a minimum of order.
Its 2004 - we survived (for now) the cold war, the nuclear winter and the fall of communism. Dig in folks, the battle with religious and secular terrorist looks to be a bumpy ride. This is a war in which your neighbors and friend are potentially as suspect as those brown people across town or that queer couple who have been together for 10 years (or just met - like your son and his girlfriend for the next 2 months). But I want to make a suggestion that it would be a huge benifit if the following would happen:
1. Keep your god to yourself and your own personal social contacts. Don’t proselytize or tell me how to be.
2. Be as straight or gay as you want to be on you own time, but we’re working, learning and walking here so I don’t care who you bang. If you got a problem with me being “into” garden knomes, maybe you shouldn’t have asked and if you did ask, don’t be offended, even if you're a garden knome.
3. Everyone, even the hooker how kills her baby in a pool of crack, thought she was right while doing it. I’m sure you think you’re right too; you’re entitled to that.
4. You’re not always right (see above).
5. Shut up and Listen more.
6. There is more than one way.
7. and probably most important is that eveything I've just said is also probably wrong but thats ok. It doesn't make me a horrible person.
Reasons to date me:
- I am a man.
This means the following:
- I have a penis (dimensions upon request)
- I have two testicles (dimensions upon request)
- I complain
- I have a poor morning disposition (references upon request)
- I emit occasionally offensive odors
- I will embarrass you more than you embarrass me (extrapolated from historical data)
- I eat meat (see note above re: offensive odors)
- I drink
- I drink more than you (assuming you weigh less than 175 pounds)
- I drink to get drunk (see note above re: poor morning disposition)
- I drink to make you fun
- I curse (if you don't like it, fuck you)
- I am fun (ask anybody, except your friend Jessica - she's a bitch anyway)
- I employ logic to solve a problem
- Predicting my disposition is as simple as knowing the winning percentage of the NY Giants
- I hate your ex-boyfriends
- I like fire, with or without the cigarettes
- I do stupid shit like testing the absorbancy of spinach gnocchi at a dinner party whenever the conversation bores me
- I recognize that when someone utters the phrase "This is so fun/great/exciting/etc" they are internally miserable
- I lie, but only to avoid offending you ("Those jeans look great on you")
- I watch porn (frequency is inversely proportional to our sexual frequency)
- I am presumptuous (see note above re: our sexual frequency)
- I watch sports
- I listen to music that makes me feel good
- I say your friend is getting fat when I know damn well she weighs less than you do
- I hate PDA
- I think you have at least 2 hot friends
- I am messy
- I think your friends suck
- I am confident, mainly as a result of general indifference
- I smell like one of the following: cologne, soap, deoderant, your cigarette
- I am smart enough to know when to end a pointless argument
- I love me, with or without you
What I'm looking for:
- A woman
This means the following:
- You have a vagina (details on plumage to be sent with picture)
- You have two breasts (dimensions to be sent with picture)
- You bitch
- You have a poor disposition (every 28th day or whenever you feel like blaming your own problems on me)
- You emit occasionally offensive noises (like that laugh you fake over the phone when responding to a joke you know isn't funny)
- You are easily embarrassed (thanks to a genuine concern for what strangers think of you)
- You eat chicken and sushi
- You drink apple martinis
- You drink fewer apple martinis than I do (assuming you weigh less than 175 pounds)
- You drink to forget abusive ex-boyfriends
- You drink to make me bearable to be around
- You curse (and I like it)
- You're fun, whenever you're not around your girlfriends (that Jessica turns you into such a bitch)
- Your arguments lack cohesive thought processes and logic (your solutions are most often supported by all the empirical evidence contained in the sentence "just because.")
- Predicting your disposition requires an intimate knowledge of string theory
- You somehow cannot deduce that all of your ex-boyfriends are still trying to fuck you
- You like to smoke socially, but only so as not to feel excluded
- You do stupid shit like use my toothbrush to fish your mascara out of the toilet, or open a toxic can of paint with a knife taken from the same drawer that the screwdriver is in
- You lack the ability to recognize that when you say "This is so fun/great/exciting/etc" that you are forcing it
- You like it when I lie
- You hate porn, but only because you know it can replace you, if only temporarily
- You are presumptuous ("Where are we going for dinner?")
- You watch reality TV
- You listen to music that makes you cry
- You say you're getting fat while wolfing down your 3rd slice of pizza
- You like PDA because you're starved for attention
- You hate knowing I think your friends are hot, and tell me embarrassing stories about them behind their backs in an effort to make them seem less desirable, when in actuality, you're making them seem more attainable
- You are somehow messier than I am, but it's always my fault
- You think your friends suck more than I think they do, but you'll never admit it
- You have self-esteem issues, mainly as a result of nothing I can control
- You always smell like your shampoo
- You hate it when I am smart enough to realize when pursuing an argument is futile (see note above re: logic)
- You love being with someone
- Deep down inside, you know all of this is true
Ok, I'm not sure why I feel the need to comment on Mr. Geldorf's lot in life or Live Aid Royalies, let alone the Boomtown Rats, but is anyone really still buying "DO THEY KNOW ITS CHRISTMAS"?
He said: "The reason we've released this is to stop people buying bootleg copies. That was the initial reason. "I'm very excited that this has come out, but I couldn't believe the number of bootleg copies being sold -- they are quite literally taking food from the hungry. This has to be stopped."
I think the only one taking food from the Hungry is Bob Geldorf. I mean come on I don't think "We are the world" is flying off the shelves anymore. I'm sure they sell 5000 units a year or something absurd. For Gods sake, Milli Vanilli still sells albums every year. But why, after 20 year refusal to rebroadcast or sell albums has he decided that now is the time.
JUST TO KEEP YOU UP TO DATE, THIS IS WHAT BOB'S BEEN DOING LATELY. ATTENDING CELEBRITY LOOK ALIKE PAGENTS.
But, somehow, I can see us tearing around Williamsburg in this thing and it just looks fun.
BECAUSE, and only because, I am such a wonderfully mechanical individual, I've decided that my next car should be a late 60's - early 70's American convertible.
This thing is so god damned amazing.
I'm also interested in Skylarks, Cougars, and Le Mans or I'd take a Baracuda if someone is giving one away.
ADDENDUM: THIS CAR SOLD FOR $15,900.00
Its fricking 9:27 AM on November 1st and between NPR, CNN, WPLJ, and ABC I have heard the cliché “on this, the eve of this election”. OK, I get it the election is tomorrow but I haven’t heard “eve” used so many time in a sentence since last years HIP-HOP awards.
Also, I’m 32 years old and for some reason Daylight savings time is completely fucking with me this time. Granted I’ve just come back from the West coast and I didn’t want to go to sleep last night until around 3:00 but why and the hell can’t I sleep past 7:00 (normally 8:00am).
This sucks, I want my money back and where are the god damned flying cars they promised us?
I was there less than a month ago and although it was dark and rainy the entire 14 hours I spent on the ground, I wish I'd tried to go see it. I've read most of the talk about it not being the biggest for very long but still this is a weird time in history for Architecture.
Seemingly, Architecture is being valued again but more as a tourist attraction or as a gimic. Almost like a side show.London, Tokyo, Moscow could have "outbuilt" the Tradecenter/Empire State Building years ago. Its just a marketing ploy, almost like the worlds biggest ball of twine.
Jokingly, I've said before, but I feel it bears repeating, that "the British shouldn't be trusted to design anything bigger than a hat". I actually have nothing but respect for Sir Norman Foster. Having experienced the level of work from their office during the construction of Asprey, I feel confident that as a whole they are very strong and precise. However this is the largest uncircumcised suppository I've ever seen.
It should also be said that the building, which is owned by Swiss Re, is vastly vacant and financial not doing so well. And not to draw parallels but the Empire State Building was dubbed the "empty state building" for many years due to its development in a uncertain Midtown Manhattan.
OK, This is my first stab at this and I can't promise I'll follow up on it regularly but I thought I'd give it a try. I've know a few other people who are having a go of it and thought it might be a little more rewarding than surfing Ebay for vintage guitars or waiting for the news sites to update their cycle stories.
Let me just say from the word "go" that I can't spell worth a damn, nor do I have the skills of the most modest grammarian. However, I do have a rant and if that’s not what the internet is for then why did Al Gore invent it.
That being said....
I'm going to start by publishing something very silly and open ended, on the elephants of Thailand.
I think i'm going with option 2.
