Thanksgiving in Westminster Maryland

Ok i'm logging in from the "FREE INTERNET ACCESS" terminal, immediately adjacent to the cinnamon roll station and the managers office at the Best Western (click on photos) in Westminster MD. The coffee and OJ are free but the the supermarkets and convienence store don't sell beer so a night cap is impossible after you've spent the day with the fam. We may have to buy a bottle. Today we're getting family picture at Jean Claude Penny's. But first, waffles at Dana and Brian's House. MMMMMMMMm who wants cinnamon rolls when you can hold out for waffles.

ok just for the spud

If this hadn't had Boeing as a significant player I could have left this off the blog, but as it stands it clearly needs his consideration.

Urban Myth

Well it seems that the people of Columbia are really into getting "HEALTHY BABIES".

This is an unbelievable story and almost as gross as the woman from Plano yesterday. I've gotten this question alot since I've lived in NY but I'm beginning to wonder myself about the real answer.

Why are there so many grissly events in Texas?

CD's and the money....

I should have spent on milk for your kids. - 6 new discs to the CD collection this weekend.

1. Bob Dylan - Blonde on Blonde
2. Radiohead - The Bends
3. Lyle Lovett - I Love Everybody
4. Robert Earl Keen - Farm Fresh Onions
5. Lucinda Williams - self titled
6. The Strokes - Room on Fire

And the complete collection.

At Last 3 - wedding Photos

OK,these images are fairly high res, so don't download these with dial-up.

The Wedding Party.

Teresa and I - with some rocks.

Teresa and I - close up.

The Proported Value of a Mad Magazine

As some of you may know, I've been recently gifted a large collection of Mad Magazines begining with April 1956. This is where the value of the collection is currently estimated, but I'll know more soon.


The problem with this is that I am slowly growing attached to them. This would not be a problem, but as my wife already hates my CD collection AND the dominance it holds on our living room, the thought of imposing this inherited collection to our home seems unlikely. However, they are quite beautiful and graphically interesting.

I hope this is saber rattling, but...

Great! On top of retooling the defenses of our country to fight Domestic as well as international terrorism, we now have to deal with Soviet Cold War Nuclear shit. So in addition to holding up their economy, space program and keeping track of all there old weapons they can't quite find enough money to guard, we have to guard against weapons that "will have no analogues in the other nuclear powers during the next few years."

BTW - we spent $958.4 million on investments in Russia in fiscal year 2003.

Ya gotta love the Web/Cosco

This made me laugh really hard, especially the FAQ.

Q: Why is Costco Wholesale selling caskets?

A: As a service to our membership base.

DUH, so they can make a buck rapping the bereaved like the rest of the Casket Industry. Ya gotta check out the Lady of Guadalupe and the Charles. You lived a long life – TREAT YOURSELF!

Also on their web site...... Condoms & Diapers....... Costco - alpha and omega.

This ad brought to you by Cosco - screwing the little guy so you don't have to!

OMG

hey, just for a goof, try picking the button in the top right of your screen that says "NEXT BLOG"

Either my name being in spanish pre-disposes the computer to sending you to a Spanish Blog or these guys are crazy for their blogs.

It seems to me there are almost 2 spanish blogs for every english one on blog spot!

And what is with all this rental car crap?

Political Humor...

A cowboy was herding cattle in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses, YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing heard and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he the feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of his data via an email and after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full color, 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniturized HP Laser Jet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right, so I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then agrees.

"You're a Democrat consultant" says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business.

"Now...give me back my dog."

Watch it Boeing

This here, ice-sicle done smashed into my lil'one's bood'dwar. I think I needs to get an A-torny.

my most bart simpson like dream

A fire at a fireworks factory.

What else is there to it?

Walking across the bridge today, I thought about how easy it would be to jump. Let me just say right now that I’m not suicidal and I have no intention of doing it but I did think about it. It just all seems so stupid right now. I get up I go to work, never completing all the things I have to do. I’ve got 6 projects and I never complete any of them to my own satisfaction. I always need to be going further and don’t seem to get any of them “captured”. Then I go home and fight with the wife. Not enough money, not enough time, not enough attention – there is always something. We need more stuff, we need different stuff, we need to get rid of the stuff we have. Too much sex, not enough sex or the sex we have is the right kind of sex. Then I go to sleep and do it all again the next day.

I drink to kill the monotony of my silly little life, to quite my mind. To stop the thoughts that I should be doing something other than working 10-hour days and still can’t even afford to buy a new pair of shoes. I don’t have time for my friends and if I did they wouldn’t have time for me. When I talk to anyone about this all they hear is my anger and frustration, which usually chokes them out. So here I am.
Can you say depression?

media dominant minority

So, I've alluded to this before on the blog and had a few conversations with various friends and relatives about the subject, but it seems as though our country, although dominated by a media that portrays a Politically Correct (albeit disproportionately white) Version of Society is "unpopular" among that of the voting more conservative public. I say this because if one were to believe "WILL & GRACE", "MURPHY BROWN", ELLAN DEGERNEROS", "OPRAH", or "FRIENDS" one would believe that our country is ok with single mothers, promiscuous straight sex, gays, unwed family units and various non-dominant religious groups (jew/muslims).

I don't think this is the case. I think that only Hollywood and NYC are ok with it. I think South Beach, Austin, Seattle are ok with the "Live and Let Live" motif but it would seem to me that the majority of the country is not too keen on the Hester's of the world walking amongst us guilt free.

We were talking about this last night and the one thing (that I recall) that we decided is that it was fear and ignorance that promoted this discord. That is to mean, fear of the unknown and unfamiliar that draw people to conservatism. And the ignorance we decided was of the impact of the issues relative to the outcomes of most decisions. For instance, my friend Chris was certain that his father had no idea that his vote for Bush was in direct opposition to his own daughter. His Daughter who has been in a monogamous relationship with a woman for the past 9 years with woman, a woman whom she wants to marry but can't.

I don't know of a "LIBERAL" who wants to stop the Ten Commandments, heterosexual monogamy, prayer, bible school or Sunday services, but I do know "CONSERVATIVES" who want to enforce the tenants of their religion, impose them on others, kill GLTG persons and require, hindu's - budhists - muslims and Jews to put their head down while the "normal" kids pray.

Bottom line, your kid wants to prey, bow or otherwise salute anything or anyone, she better be prepared to do it as a personal expression at home. She wants to wear a helmet, hat, robe or cross – power to you but we are at school now, much like going to work (lest we forget what school is supposed to educate us for) and we require a minimum of order.

Its 2004 - we survived (for now) the cold war, the nuclear winter and the fall of communism. Dig in folks, the battle with religious and secular terrorist looks to be a bumpy ride. This is a war in which your neighbors and friend are potentially as suspect as those brown people across town or that queer couple who have been together for 10 years (or just met - like your son and his girlfriend for the next 2 months). But I want to make a suggestion that it would be a huge benifit if the following would happen:

1. Keep your god to yourself and your own personal social contacts. Don’t proselytize or tell me how to be.
2. Be as straight or gay as you want to be on you own time, but we’re working, learning and walking here so I don’t care who you bang. If you got a problem with me being “into” garden knomes, maybe you shouldn’t have asked and if you did ask, don’t be offended, even if you're a garden knome.
3. Everyone, even the hooker how kills her baby in a pool of crack, thought she was right while doing it. I’m sure you think you’re right too; you’re entitled to that.
4. You’re not always right (see above).
5. Shut up and Listen more.
6. There is more than one way.

7. and probably most important is that eveything I've just said is also probably wrong but thats ok. It doesn't make me a horrible person.

daily

I wish I could post to this daily, but I just can't. I don't have the time. I was out of the office for the past two days (thursday in Union, NJ ordering 147 doors for CA & friday in Merchantville, NJ trying to cement the deal for my Philadelphia job).

So be patient there will be more when I get in front of a computer. I'm home now and its 11:00 pm on Saturday Night and the only reason I can use the computer is because the wife and I are having a tiff and she's out stomping around trying to ignore me.

I played poker with John, KM and Chris last night. It was really a good time but we all stayed up to late and when Teresa came in from Miami we all ended up going to the end of the street to our local watering hole, the "Pencil Factory". It was a good time. Gun control, Liberal Media, Homosexuals, Fear and Dogs were disgussed. No animals (only livers) were harmed during this excursion.

Way to Work

This may be completely silly to all of you but I decided to take photos of my walk to work. Lately, I've taken to walking to and from my office, 3.7 Miles. Its a nice 1 hour and 10 minute walk and it gets me outside which is well deserved considering how many hours I've been putting in. Enjoy!

I really Love Arnold Palmer's (1/2 Tea & 1/2 Lemonade), You'll see a few of them laying around these photos.

Where is the Radical Rights Goebbels?

http://www.knife-party.net/movs/barry.mov


Are there propaganda films for the Religous right?

If the Liberal Media is controlled by the Left, why haven' t they been able to sway the people back to the Democratic "light"?

Which one of these babes?

One of these children is not like the other. ONE OF THEM IS A HARDENED CRIMINAL. I'm wondering If anyone can figure it out and I'm sorry to bring this up in a public forum since the parents may not even be aware yet. However as a public service I think it is necessary.

One is from Manhattan, One is from Maryland and One is from Yonkers.



brought to you by our breeder friends whom we love and admire

I didn't write it but....

There is some funny stuff here.

Reasons to date me:

- I am a man.

This means the following:

- I have a penis (dimensions upon request)

- I have two testicles (dimensions upon request)

- I complain

- I have a poor morning disposition (references upon request)

- I emit occasionally offensive odors

- I will embarrass you more than you embarrass me (extrapolated from historical data)

- I eat meat (see note above re: offensive odors)

- I drink

- I drink more than you (assuming you weigh less than 175 pounds)

- I drink to get drunk (see note above re: poor morning disposition)

- I drink to make you fun

- I curse (if you don't like it, fuck you)

- I am fun (ask anybody, except your friend Jessica - she's a bitch anyway)

- I employ logic to solve a problem

- Predicting my disposition is as simple as knowing the winning percentage of the NY Giants

- I hate your ex-boyfriends

- I like fire, with or without the cigarettes

- I do stupid shit like testing the absorbancy of spinach gnocchi at a dinner party whenever the conversation bores me

- I recognize that when someone utters the phrase "This is so fun/great/exciting/etc" they are internally miserable

- I lie, but only to avoid offending you ("Those jeans look great on you")

- I watch porn (frequency is inversely proportional to our sexual frequency)

- I am presumptuous (see note above re: our sexual frequency)

- I watch sports

- I listen to music that makes me feel good

- I say your friend is getting fat when I know damn well she weighs less than you do

- I hate PDA

- I think you have at least 2 hot friends

- I am messy

- I think your friends suck

- I am confident, mainly as a result of general indifference

- I smell like one of the following: cologne, soap, deoderant, your cigarette

- I am smart enough to know when to end a pointless argument

- I love me, with or without you





What I'm looking for:

- A woman


This means the following:

- You have a vagina (details on plumage to be sent with picture)

- You have two breasts (dimensions to be sent with picture)

- You bitch

- You have a poor disposition (every 28th day or whenever you feel like blaming your own problems on me)

- You emit occasionally offensive noises (like that laugh you fake over the phone when responding to a joke you know isn't funny)

- You are easily embarrassed (thanks to a genuine concern for what strangers think of you)

- You eat chicken and sushi

- You drink apple martinis

- You drink fewer apple martinis than I do (assuming you weigh less than 175 pounds)

- You drink to forget abusive ex-boyfriends

- You drink to make me bearable to be around

- You curse (and I like it)

- You're fun, whenever you're not around your girlfriends (that Jessica turns you into such a bitch)

- Your arguments lack cohesive thought processes and logic (your solutions are most often supported by all the empirical evidence contained in the sentence "just because.")

- Predicting your disposition requires an intimate knowledge of string theory

- You somehow cannot deduce that all of your ex-boyfriends are still trying to fuck you

- You like to smoke socially, but only so as not to feel excluded

- You do stupid shit like use my toothbrush to fish your mascara out of the toilet, or open a toxic can of paint with a knife taken from the same drawer that the screwdriver is in

- You lack the ability to recognize that when you say "This is so fun/great/exciting/etc" that you are forcing it

- You like it when I lie

- You hate porn, but only because you know it can replace you, if only temporarily

- You are presumptuous ("Where are we going for dinner?")

- You watch reality TV

- You listen to music that makes you cry

- You say you're getting fat while wolfing down your 3rd slice of pizza

- You like PDA because you're starved for attention

- You hate knowing I think your friends are hot, and tell me embarrassing stories about them behind their backs in an effort to make them seem less desirable, when in actuality, you're making them seem more attainable

- You are somehow messier than I am, but it's always my fault

- You think your friends suck more than I think they do, but you'll never admit it

- You have self-esteem issues, mainly as a result of nothing I can control

- You always smell like your shampoo

- You hate it when I am smart enough to realize when pursuing an argument is futile (see note above re: logic)

- You love being with someone

- Deep down inside, you know all of this is true

Record Piracy of Bob Geldorf

Ok, I'm not sure why I feel the need to comment on Mr. Geldorf's lot in life or Live Aid Royalies, let alone the Boomtown Rats, but is anyone really still buying "DO THEY KNOW ITS CHRISTMAS"?

He said: "The reason we've released this is to stop people buying bootleg copies. That was the initial reason. "I'm very excited that this has come out, but I couldn't believe the number of bootleg copies being sold -- they are quite literally taking food from the hungry. This has to be stopped."

I think the only one taking food from the Hungry is Bob Geldorf. I mean come on I don't think "We are the world" is flying off the shelves anymore. I'm sure they sell 5000 units a year or something absurd. For Gods sake, Milli Vanilli still sells albums every year. But why, after 20 year refusal to rebroadcast or sell albums has he decided that now is the time.

JUST TO KEEP YOU UP TO DATE, THIS IS WHAT BOB'S BEEN DOING LATELY. ATTENDING CELEBRITY LOOK ALIKE PAGENTS.

Little or no Correlation, but interesting!!

Funny - the red states are Protestant or Mormon. The evangelical Christians have always scared the shit out of me and now I know why.

DENTS AND SHELLS

A very good review of the lastest from my personal favorite living song writer.

I have felt for some time that Buckner is the standard bearing for songwriters. He writes lyrics like no other artist, creates melodies and arrangements like no other artist, and for sure, delivers them like no other artist. I was a big fan of his last disc (Impasse) because I felt it displayed the depth of his musicianship--he composed all of the music and played almost every instrument. To be honest, I was afraid he would not be able to top it. I suppose I was wrong. This disc picks up where Impasse left off, but has a broader, more varied feel. The arrangements are stunning and must be mentioned. Subtle flashes of pedal steel guitar (welcome back!) and piano accent most tracks and add a dreamy quality to the songs. The lyrics are classic Buckner, but with a more direct feel. Another thing to note is that he varies his vocal approach on many of the songs. 'A Chance Counsel' is all gruff and angry. 'As the Waves Will Always Roll' is so soft, it is almost a whisper. He uses his voice like a tenor sax player...sometimes screaming, sometimes crying, but always brilliant. It is a shame that this disc was born out of another divorce (as was Devotion and Doubt), but there is no doubt that he is able to channel the emotion directly into his work. Kudos to RB for another classic recording. As one friend said, "Man, you can get lost in this record." Indeed you can.

J. Stocks
AND ALSO:

The darkness that surrounds Richard Buckner's writing always seems to be the focus of scrutiny for every judging ear, be it a professional critic's or an armchair critic's, and for good reason considering the elliptical, image-laden construction of Buckner's banter, but the constant reference to this blanket has almost unjustly glorified the artist into an impossible mystery. What isn't often mentioned is Buckner's ability to fill his music and lyrics with such a brutal and heavy heart that critics are quick to point to his lifestyle on the road, which implies a loner mentality, and his first divorce, which fueled his second album, Devotion + Doubt. When Impasse was released in late 2002, it was widely noted in the press that Buckner and his second wife, Penny Jo Buckner, were the only two musicians on the album and that, between the recording and the release of Impasse, the pair had split. The question on everyone's lips seemed to be what the follow-up would sound like and if it would essentially be Devotion + Doubt part 2. In some ways Dents and Shells treads similar ground in that it reflects some serious life change, but the impression Buckner leaves implies more a mutual understanding of why the two split rather than the paranoia that filled Devotion + Doubt. Much can be read into the lyrics of "Invitation" and "Her," and even, depending on how lucid one allows himself to become, the imagery of the artwork depicting two birds, one hovering above a circle and the other a square, flying in opposite directions away from a tree, but what remains is another release that sounds how Richard Buckner has always sounded: grizzly, conceptual, fragmented, brooding, and plaintive. Dents & Shells also represents a change in Buckner's business, having moved over to Merge for this release, and back to a larger band (misery loves company?), recalling the approach to his third album, Since. The band Buckner assembled for Dents and Shells fits his standard of choosing notable musicians, the most prominent being Butthole Surfers' drummer King Coffey and Meat Puppets alum and former bassist for Bob Mould, Andrew DuPlantis. The reemergence of pedal steel in Buckner's sonic nomenclature, played expertly by Mike Hardwick and Gary Newcomb, further solidifies the connection with Since while the liberal use of piano and organs hint at the atmosphere of the Hill with a bit more ebb and flow in style than what was exhibited on Impasse. Naturally the chosen musicians' approach to arrangements are different than previous sidemen, but Dents and Shells might best be looked at as Buckner's catalog refined into a clear and cohesive effort with which fans should be very pleased. ~ Gregory McIntosh, All Music Guide

Metro-Sexual

OK - I've got a problem. My head knows how gay this is.

But, somehow, I can see us tearing around Williamsburg in this thing and it just looks fun.

I think I need to go kill some small animal with a large gun or a least go beat someone up. 150cc - come on! I'm not sure that could even make it up my driveway. I mean come on the picnic basket - WTF.


Right now this thing is in Jakarta and they want $3k for it + $400 for shipping. Not gonna happen.

Wake up she said.

"Wakeup", she said! "Go take a look at the marathon", she said! Well, after setting off for my office (a good 4 mile walk), my course had paralleled that of the marathon across the Pulaski Bridge, that is until I reached the 59th Street Bridge.

When I got to the mouth of the pedestrian path that is on the North side of the lower deck, my day was about to take a strange twist. In there deep blue uniforms and rubber gloves, 3 of New York’s finest were engaged in an exchange of “fuck you’s” with some cyclists. Apparently the pedestrian path to Manhattan was closed and the cyclists were none to plussed.

Having nothing else to do I asked if I could pass and was told that the only way into the city was to take the train. HA! Not wanting to be discouraged so easily I walked back to where the runners were. Slyly and discretely I blended in and began walking across the bridge as is I were in the Marathon. I crossed into Manhattan and was met with cheers, Gatorade, towels and Vaseline on tongue depressors (runner nipple) and they sense that I had run the marathon, if only for an hour.

NEW ADDITION

I AM NOW UNCLE TUEY

Her name is Samantha Aliese Womack – 8 lbs 2 oz; 21 inches. And she was born the morning of October 12th 2004.

Thailand

Photos for those who want to see our trip:

Bangkok temple statue of a foreign guard - FARANG

At the Temple of the Jade Budha

Ayuthaya

One of the Ruins at Ayuthaya and T doing her lotus

Elephant tour

Feeding the baby elephant (whats that a euphemism for?)

This is almost Pork

Doing my best "Get Back" Beatles cover Kareoke


Our bunglo on Ko Phi Phi


Firedancers on the beach at Ko Phi Phi

FREE RIDE - Xmas list item #1

BECAUSE, and only because, I am such a wonderfully mechanical individual, I've decided that my next car should be a late 60's - early 70's American convertible.

This thing is so god damned amazing.

I'm also interested in Skylarks, Cougars, and Le Mans or I'd take a Baracuda if someone is giving one away.

ADDENDUM: THIS CAR SOLD FOR $15,900.00

on this, the eve of Election

Its fricking 9:27 AM on November 1st and between NPR, CNN, WPLJ, and ABC I have heard the cliché “on this, the eve of this election”. OK, I get it the election is tomorrow but I haven’t heard “eve” used so many time in a sentence since last years HIP-HOP awards.

Also, I’m 32 years old and for some reason Daylight savings time is completely fucking with me this time. Granted I’ve just come back from the West coast and I didn’t want to go to sleep last night until around 3:00 but why and the hell can’t I sleep past 7:00 (normally 8:00am).

This sucks, I want my money back and where are the god damned flying cars they promised us?